Mayfield Diaspora (T.A.B.L.E!)

New Joke :)

2007-12-05T09:59:00.000-05:00

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails.When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"The woman stops screaming long enough to say,"Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins?Do you really think they look alike?""No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone had sex with you twice."

Exam Comedy

2007-04-19T11:49:00.000-04:00

Taking my inspiration from Dilbag, I'm going to post up something to hopefully give everyone a chuckle during exams. I don't have a great source of consistently funny jokes like Dilly seems to, so I've chosen animated GIFs instead. I have a bunch, and here's the first:

now what?

2007-03-13T19:24:00.000-04:00

What is everyone doing this summer and after? A lot of people are graduating this May, so I was wondering what comes next for everyone. Job? College? Grad School? Travelling? Moving? Living in a Box?

I'll be in London working away at the master's, living at cherryhill and getting leered at by the dirty old (i mean really really old) men at the pool.

Facebook

2007-01-29T11:27:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

How's everybody doing???? So I just noticed that Brian got facebook over the weekend. So does that mean that Hailey is the only person that does not have facebook now???? COME ON HAILEY...CAVE TO THE TEMPTATION. :P

Also, just generally wanted to see what is new and what you guys have been up. Nothing new over here...just dreading the finish of finish of school and entering "real life." Talk to you guys later.

Hmmmm...always a step behind

2007-01-05T10:50:00.000-05:00

Ok...so maybe I missed something somewhere along the lines, but this is a blog for everybody! A while back we were talking of going up to London to visit (by we I mean Hailey, Deep and I, plus possible significant others). Is this still going on? Because I'm leaving for Mexico in about an hour (yes, some last minute blogging whoohoo!) and I'm coming back on Friday...so I kinda want to know what to expect when I return...:P anyways, who reads these things anymore anyways? Betcha Dil and Noah are the only ones who (may) read this message...which isn't a bad thing persay, because I love you both! anyways, to whoever may read this...FILL ME IN!!! :D

Going to be MIA

2006-12-26T23:47:00.000-05:00

Hey Guys,

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays :D

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be completely MIA this holiday season. There is just a lot of family stuff going on and I know that I'm going (I actually already am) to be incredibly busy and I most probably won't get a chance to see you guys. I'm Sorry!! I'll try my best to make it up to most of you by coming to visit you guys in London once before the years end. Cool! AND I know what you guys are going to say about New Years "Come onnnnnnn Dilly...it's just one night, etc, etc." LOL :P Yes...I've heard it all. It's not going to happen. LOL

Luv you all...Miss you all...hopefully I'll see you soon.

Dilbag

The End Is Near

2006-12-19T21:41:00.000-05:00

HEY GUYS,

HOW IS EVERYBODY HANGING IN THERE??? EVERYBODY ALMOST DONE??? I FINISH TOMORROW??? ANYWAYS...POST SOME REPLY'S SO I STILL KNOW YOU ARE ALIVE

LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just #$&#*&^# beautiful!
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"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not!" answered his mother. "If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
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The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" Suzy cried out. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher. "Six feet under!” yelled Little Johnny.
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Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio." -------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

Monday Joke

2006-12-18T01:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the lag guys. Thank-you Noah for picking up the slack. Here are a few to make up for it. BTW...I can't remember anymore which ones I have posted and which ones I haven't....so let me know if I'm repeating.

Joke # 1

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . please advise." The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

Joke #2

A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now... You didn't tell me you had a prescription".

Joke # 3

Grandpa and Grandma were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked the son about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one; they're very strong and very expensive". "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and I'll leave the money under your pillow as soon as I break this bill. The next morning the son found $110.00 under his pillow. The son said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00." "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."

Joke #4

Daddy, how was I born? Dad says: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male

Joke #5

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND." Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..." At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

New Holiday?

2006-12-16T13:45:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the newest holiday being added to our calendars......

STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY!

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts flowers dinner shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Fact is ...guys feel left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created. March 14h is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day." Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show her man just how much she loves him. No cards, no flowers no special nights on the town-the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak & Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March!

Dont forget to sign the petitition.

Friday Joke (Dilly's MIA?)

2006-12-15T16:06:00.000-05:00

Well Dilly seems to be overworked so I thought Id pitch in and put a solid joke up on the board. Im not trying to steal your thunder Dill dont worry bud, just lending a helping hand.

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

And maybe another for good luck...

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, "Are you alright?"

In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?"

The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'.

Start the Week off Right: Monday Joke

2006-12-11T02:51:00.000-05:00

Yes just one joke. It's a bit long but well worth it. So keep reading. :D Hope that exams are going well for everybody.

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. The
hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh... if I go down
three inches. I will feel the mist from the water and I will be
refreshed."

There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down
three inches, I can eat him."

There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down
three inches. That fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him."

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake
preparing to eat a cheese sandwich...."Gosh," he thought, "if that fly
goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will
expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a
proper lunch."

You probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but
I can tell you there's more....

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh... if that fly
goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that
bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and
drop his cheese sandwich."

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was
fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch
time "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps
for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter
shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich.
Then I can
have mouse for lunch."

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the
cooling mist of the water.

The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish...
The hunter shoots the bear...
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse...
The mouse ducks...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is: Whenever a fly goes down three inches some
pussy is in serious danger.

Saturday & Sunday Jokes

2006-12-10T02:47:00.000-05:00

At this pace I might start running out of jokes so I might switch to an every couple of day's posting routine.

Joke #1

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating, " her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs, " her father answered. So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

"Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden!"

Joke #2

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals?

For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.

If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis... fifty times"

Friday's Joke's (Everybody Does Check The Blog)

2006-12-08T15:25:00.000-05:00

IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY!!! BUT EVERYBODY DOES CHECK THE BLOG!! LOL

JOKE #1

A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies. Everytime he sees a fly he utters, "fucking flies, fucking flies."

Just as the boy says it a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the flies because every one of God's creations has a purpose."

The little boy, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "bullshit."

"Well tell me 3 things on this earth that God has made without a cause" says the priest.

The boy looks at him with a grin and replies, "Tits on a nun, balls on a priest, and these fucking flies."

JOKE #2

So Bob has a speech impediment. He needs a few things so he goes shopping.

First he goes to a gas station and asks the clerk "Can I get some bum?". The clerk looks confused and the Bob points to some gum.

So he walks out with his gum and goes to the hardware store. Bob says "Do you have a fuckit?" Again the clerk looks at him strangely, but he points to a bucket.

So Bob walks out with his gum and his bucket and goes to the pet store.

He says to the clerk "I was wondering if you had any cock-and-spank-its?" The clerk is beside himself and gasps until Bob points to a dog that is called a cockerspaniel.

So Bob walks out with his gum, his bucket, and his dog. All of a sudden the leash breaks and the dog goes running off.

So Bob runs up to a man and says, "Quick, hold my bum and fuckit while I grab my cock and spank it!"

Moving?????

2006-12-07T13:26:00.000-05:00

WHAT THE FUCK YOUR MOVING DILL? Ya thanks for telling me you stupid fuck . What the fuck Guelph . HAiley moves Dill Moves Dana ...well she moved a while ago.. I moved but not to Guelph .

MAn you guys all sux I am never going back tto brampton I mean whats the point there is no friends left there who can I call to go shopping with or watch a movie with now thanks fucker thanks alot. It's just me and the Jew and he doesn't even call me anymore since he got married. Just brian and Deep now

A VERY ANGRY FRIEND
ANKIT JI

Let Them Begin :D :D :D :D

2006-12-07T01:27:00.000-05:00

HEY GUYS!! SORRY...THE EXAM JOKES SLIPPED MY MIND!! BUT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU THERE IS ONE FOR EVERYDAY OF THE WEEK!! :D :D :D HOPE TO SEE YOU GUYS SOON!! ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO FROST?? EVERYBODY SEEMS TO BE CHECKING THE BLOG BUT HIM!!

MONDAY: JOKE #1
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was probably just another false alarm and stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

TUESDAY: JOKE #2
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she's angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!"

"Shut up," she says. "You're next."

WEDNESDAY: JOKE #3
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

THURSDAY: JOKE#4
A young fellow ran into an old man who was carrying a bag.

"What's in the bag?" the youngster asked.

"magic apples", the old man replied.

"Prove it", said the young man.

"Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man.

"Watermelon and peaches", he answered.

The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. The boy took a bite and said that it tasted like a watermelon. "OK, turn it over", he said.

The boy did and took another bite and said that it tasted like a peach.

The youngster still wasn't convinced that they were magic.

The old fellow told him to name something else that he liked to eat.

"I like to eat pussy." he snapped.

The man handed him another apple and told him to try it.

He took a big bite, spit it out, wiped his mouth and exclaimed, "That tasted like shit".

The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over."

Moving (Respond to Natalies post BELOW)!

2006-11-29T00:21:00.000-05:00

By the way... we are moving to Guelph December 16. I'm not back till the 21st but yeah... just thought I should give you guys the heads up.

Also...does everybody want me to continue the exam "joke" tradition???????????????

Christmas break

2006-11-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

So when is everyone going to be in Brampton? And do people have plans for New Years? I think we will be in London....

memories of last new years.....

Good luck on exams!!!

C'est L'Halloween - HEY!

2006-11-01T20:57:00.000-05:00

Matt and I didn't take many pictures on Halloween (I think the Irish Car Bomb clouded my picture abilities), but they're up on his flickr page if you guys want to see them.

New Cam

2006-10-28T22:36:00.000-04:00

Hey guys!

Matt posted some new pictures from our new camera on his flickr site (including a few of the Rick McGhie shots from last Wed). Here's the link if you want to check them out:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mattsimpson83

Vegas Vacation?

2006-10-17T16:30:00.000-04:00

So I know some of us were talking about a trip to Vegas this winter.
I did some research and I found the following package:

357.09 USD per person which includes:

4 nights hotel (2 people per hotel room) at the Imperial Palace (see photo)
Non-stop airfare from Detroit to Las Vegas
All Taxes

These prices are for a trip running from December 18-22.
I need to know who is interested in going (not specifically for those dates but just to have an idea how many people we would be so I can get updated numbers, even if you are considering going but aren't sure let me know)

Hopefully we can make this work, it should be a blast!

How is Everybody Doing??????

2006-10-01T17:13:00.000-04:00

Yeah... we really need to start using this thing more often??? So what is everybody up too??? Is everybody going to be back for Thanksgiving??? I'm going to be coming back on the Friday and I think I might be leaving on Tuesday because I don't have class till late on Tuesday. Also, the wedding pics are wicked. I really like this one but we are missing some of the boys :(

What the hell

2006-09-17T17:48:00.000-04:00

Somebody else post! Here's a sweet picture from the wedding:

Request!

2006-09-15T19:13:00.000-04:00

I think we should have links to everyone's photo pages on the sidebar. I know Megan mentioned this before and I think it's a great idea. Can you manage that Stephen?

Mine is http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianalaura !

Pictures!!

2006-09-03T14:56:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys!

I have posted some of my pictures on my flickr website. You can find the bachelor party here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianalaura/sets/72157594266813763/

and the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brianalaura/sets/72157594265702438/

It seems like we're missing some pictures for some reason! I will try to find them. I will post all the wedding pictures when I have some time later this week. If any of you guys have pictures posted anywhere, put up the link, I'd love to see them.

Mount Kenya + Kenya in general

2006-07-27T08:08:00.000-04:00

In response to dil's request for more posts, here's a link to photos of my climb to the top of Mount Kenya (yes, I actually climbed a mountain, it was actually the coolest thing I've ever done!) Also, for those of you who have facebook, there are lots of pictures of my various other african exploits too. enjoy!

http://mcgill.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2035099&l=7501d&id=13605088

England-->France-->Italy Bitches

2006-07-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

It's frinkin summer time...so why don't people post on this thing more often??? I would post pictures but they are all still on my camera. LOL Can't wait to see you all in a week. Take Care

Luv Dilbag

Remember This?

2006-06-22T17:08:00.000-04:00

That's right, there's going to be another Pink Party! There's not many details yet, but it'll be in London at my place, and keep the weekend of July 15 open (Not sure if it'll be the friday or saturday). Everyone get out there and buy something pretty to wear and come help Geoff and Natalie raise some money for their walk in September.

Just Chillin at the Castle in England

2006-06-22T14:49:00.000-04:00

Having the time of life and enjoying ever second of being here.

Where is everyone?

2006-06-20T11:39:00.000-04:00

K well in the truest of ironies I'm chilling here in Brmapton wiith no idea what ppl are doing so how about staurday a game of soccoer and a picinic and a movie or football and dinner or something?
Anyways someone give me a call 905 913-0166 I have no idea where slick or dana are but maybe you guys are around too? Hailey ? Deep? Noah? Geoff? Natalie? Pls call so lonely

Greetings from Ireland

2006-05-30T14:44:00.000-04:00

Just thought that it would be a good idea to call and let you all know how we're doing in Ireland. I had hoped to call everyone with a cheap phone card, but kinda gorgot that there are connection charges to consider. I still might, if I get a cheap card and a am near a payphone, so its a maybe, maybe not situation. Anyway, we've been in Dublin since friday. Friday we didn't do a whole lot and just hung around Matt and Liz's in Santry (part of Dublin). Saturday we went into the city and walked around a bit, checked out Grafton street, and went to the Market in Temple Bar. Sunday was a fun day (that started a little late) where we went to the History Museum and then went out to the best bar ever: The Porter House. Good food, 3 types of porter/stout and a total of 10 beers brewed on site (mmmmm....).

Mmmmm... Porterhouse Beer

We also visited St Stephen's Green downtown:

That all for pictures at the moment since its kind of a pain in the ass it seems to upload these. Maybe we'll put some more up tomorrow before we get ready to head up north.

BTW if it makes you feel better, while you guys are enjoying sunny summer weather at home, its about 12-15 degrees here, with nights down to about 6, and there's no heating to make it any better. Its windy as hell, but no rain so far (knock wood)!

Wedding Hotels

2006-05-24T09:36:00.000-04:00

Just to remind people that you need to book hotels for the wedding night (unless you want to drive home), because they are filling up really quickly. I told some of you about the 6 people rooms but those are all booked now.
The 2 person rooms at the Hockley Highlands hotel are $95 for the Valley Regular and $105 for the Valley Deluxe. The number is (519) 941-9880 and the website is www.hockleyhighlands.com
The other hotel is a taxi ride away, but cheaper: at the Orangeville Motel it is $69 for one queen sized bed, $79 for two queen sized beds. The number is (519) 941-6831.
See you all soon :)

Victoria Day Partay!

2006-05-18T22:13:00.001-04:00

Hey Everybody,

It looks as though most people are going to be in Brampton for the long-weekend. So I've decided to throw a little party at my place. Please pass this along to everyone in the 'group'.
Here's the info:

Saturday night (whatever date it is I dunno, its in 2 days)
8ish at my place (if you dont know where I live then you can't come)
BYOB and BYOMS (sorry Im too poor to buy you all booze)
Also if anyone wants to stay the night you are more than welcome, but I may only have couch/floor spaces for you to sleep.

Finally, and most importantly please RSVP so I know who's coming. Either call me on my new cell number 647-404-7771, email me or just comment on this post.

See you all Saturday,
Noah

P.S. BYOMS = Bring your own Mr. Sulu ;)

MAY LONG

2006-05-08T17:25:00.000-04:00

Hellu everybody :)

So I don't know if aybody actually checks this anymore now that school's out...but I wanted to know if anything's going on May Long Weekend? Because I heard some people mention Slick's cottage again? Is that what's going on? Just don't wanna fall out of the loop again!!! heeheehee :D

Hope all your summer's are going great! Know mine is ;) See you soon!

Dani :D

Books That Didn't Make It...

2006-04-25T11:57:00.000-04:00

Its my turn!

2006-04-23T10:12:00.000-04:00

I fugred I would take up the days exam entertainment so that Dilly can get back to work (Dill, if your reading this - get back to work!). Perhaps we could start to post when everyone is back from school or what they are up to if they are not going back to Brampton in the comments.

New Joke

2006-04-22T19:16:00.000-04:00

A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's birthday. As they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note, personal, but not too personal. Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister, he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girlfriend got the panties. The guy sent the package to the girlfriend with the following note:

I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night. All my love. P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

Hope the Exams are Going Well? Some New Jokes

2006-04-20T23:17:00.000-04:00

Joke #1

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional.
In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned.
The priest asks, "What did you do?"
The woman says, "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later, a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Man: "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?"
Man: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later, another woman enters and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery."
Rabbi: "How many times?"
Woman: "Once."
Rabbi, "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."

Joke #2

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too."

The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards, too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!"

New Jokes & A Riddle

2006-04-18T21:55:00.000-04:00

What is the difference b/w this set of jokes and most of the other sets posted??

Joke #1 : Read Out Loud

The hotel Astor had hired a new bus driver and instructed him to meet all incoming trains and announce at the depot in a very loud voice, "Free bus to the hotel Astor!" On the way to the station on his first trip he kept repeating to himself, "Free bus to the hotel Astor, Free bus to the hotel Astor," until he memorized it letter perfect.

Upon his arrival at the station, however, he became confused at all the noise and hub bub and started shouting as follows. "Free hotel at the bust your Astor, I mean, Free *** at the Hotel Bastard, I mean, Freeze your *** at the Hotel Buster, I mean Squeeze your bust at the Hotel Faster, I mean, Bust your *** at the Hotel Freezer, Oh shit...take a cab."

Joke #2

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet two, built like a brick shit-house, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Jokes

2006-04-16T22:01:00.000-04:00

Joke #1

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well," the man says, "it's like this; I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" the doctor asks.

"Well." the man replies, "I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'

I don't remember much after that."

Joke #2

There was a redneck father and son who were always in competition with each other. One day the son left to take an entrance exam at a university. He wanted to major in medicine. A week later he returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his father.

"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and stuff. I got a score of 75%. It wasn't good enough to get accepted," the boy replied.

"Well in that case I better take that exam myself," the father said.

So off to the university he went. A week later the father returned from his trip looking very down in the dumps.

"How was the exam?" asked his son.

"They asked quite a lot of 'fill in the missing letter' questions about first aid and I got them all wrong but one."

"Gee, Dad. Which question was that?"

"The question was...", started the father, "What do you do when you come across a lady which has fainted. You feel her pu_s_?"

"That's easy", the son replied. "The answer is pulse."

"Oh, hell," said the father,” I got that one wrong as well."

New Jokes

2006-04-14T11:14:00.000-04:00

Joke #1

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot...ans see a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,

"New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith!"

Joke #2

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me. I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.

"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Too Bad He Didn't Try and Burn the Ugly Part Down

2006-04-11T16:20:00.000-04:00

Some strange happenings in Caledon East

New Joke

2006-04-11T01:26:00.000-04:00

Thank you to Hailey for this one....

Special Bulletin from the Pentagon

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces.

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Let Them Begin Again

2006-04-09T01:24:00.000-04:00

Hey All,

So it is exam time once again and I remembered that you all enjoyed my joke of day (not really everyday...more like every other day)...plus its a nice procrastination tool for everybody, gives people something to look forward to and puts a smile on your stressed out exam faces. So let them begin again.

Joke #1

Guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His girlfriend stops reading as he says "honey this is the pig I screw when you have a headache."

His girlfriend looks disgusted and says "I think if you look again you will notice that is a sheep, you idiot"

And the guy replies "I think if you look again you will notice that I am not talking to you”

Joke #2

A black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.

"The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . you started it."

Help Fufill One Man's Dream

2006-04-05T19:25:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many of you have seen this, but click here

Weekend To End Breast Cancer

2006-03-23T10:26:00.000-05:00

I'm sure many of you already know that Natalie and I are walking in the weekend to end breast cancer in September. This is an amazing event to raise money for breast cancer research at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto. We each have set our fundraising goals at $3000. You can go to our breast cancer blog for more information or to sponsor us. We are also selling the pink rubber bracelets for $5, If you would like one message either of us so we can save you one. Also if you know anyone that would want to support this great cause direct them to our site (mclellanendcancer@blogspot.com).

Thanks for everyone's support

Geoff

Casino 1095

2006-03-12T19:35:00.000-05:00

Hey guys!

Thanks to everyone who made it to Matt's party. He had a really awesome time and I know he appreciated all of you coming. For those of you who couldn't come, I understand! I hope you had good weekends doing your own thing.

Also thank you for the lovely gifts you gave him. I know he was really excited about all the great wine he got (and the De Ruijter sprinkles Steve!). I hope you all had a good time too! You made the night special and I was glad to have you all there. Thanks again!

Grr...

2006-03-05T17:31:00.000-05:00

Look at me, I'm a tough VP Finance-type!

Seriously though, check out Noah's election site. Its sexy, and makes me want to vote for him.

Who is in town?

2006-02-22T18:30:00.000-05:00

Ok just to clarify....

Who is going to be in Brampton/Caledon area this Friday (in two days)?

Also, if you are going to be around, do you want to do anything...?

Diana and I are in Brampton for this weekend only so we're hoping to get to see you all, let me know...

USC Elections

2006-02-21T20:12:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder to you Western'ers
Dont forget to vote in the USC elections at www.usc.uwo.ca
The voting closes tomorrow at 8pm so make sure you vote :)

so it's a day late...:P

2006-02-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

HI y'all!!!

Just wanted to say HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! Better late than never right? I love you all and hope that you all got some good lovin' on the 14th!!! MUAH!

Go Canada Go

2006-02-14T09:41:00.000-05:00

Just watching some olympics (i love the olympics) and the women's hockey team scored, yay!

I know that we dont all have the same reading week but I believe that for most of us we have one weekend that overlaps (feb 24-26).

I was wondering if anyone has an interest in doing something on the 24th (the friday).
Let me know if you want to get together ;)

Dusted Highlights

2006-02-09T21:32:00.000-05:00

Based on the pictures, this is what we believe happened at dusted... no one really remembers, but we think we had a good time.

In Honour of DUSTED

2006-02-04T01:34:00.000-05:00

Since a lot of you dont have the oppportunity to come to DUSTed thios year , i figuted i should tshare the theroy of how poeple drink. Everyone knows that there isbn't buch og a relationship between a man's feeti and any other part of that man., other than big people tend tyo have big evetrything.

However, there is a relationshop it seems between the size of a person's fet and theri drinking ability. Like Megan has bihg feet compatred to natalie, anfd drinks a lot more. Geoff has slightly bigger geet than me. and can drink a bit more than me (usually). And noah had itsy bitshy fett to match the teeny weeenie liver. Mikes worse though :-| .

Thats it, thats the teorty. yup/

so I'm gonna be naked pretty soon!

2006-01-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

OK...this is more or less a message for Briana, or anybody that goes to her house often...I must have been incredibly shmammered last weekend, because I came home without a sweater, tshirt or bra. Yeah, don't ask me what i wore :D Anyways, I think i may have left them at your house Briana! Can you check for me? It's a white hooded sweater, a black sequined tshirt and possibly a white bra...I just recall taking off a bra and not putting it on again. Alrighty, thank you so much! I promise next time to be fully clothed when i leave your place! :D

DUSTED 2006

2006-01-23T21:03:00.000-05:00

WOOOHOOO! Its almost that happiest of times of the year. DUSTED is coming up on Feb 4th and tickets are on sale now. If you are in London and want to attend, you can drop by the UES room (SEB-1001) or ask Geoff. Megan or I to get you tickets. Unlike usual, tickets are not being given to council members to sell, so I can't hold on to one for you. So, make sure you buy early, and you can have fun like this:

CEEPS TONIGHT

2006-01-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

All I have to say is, THERE HAD BETTER BE SOME DRUNKEN POSTING TONIGHT. I want to see some sweet sweet drunk posts when I get up tomorrow (whenever the hell that will be. . .).

I also would like to see naked pictures but that is secondary.

I VILL PUMP. . .YOU UP!

Some inspiration:

crazy goings on by my place :D

2006-01-17T21:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah that was my next door neighbor's house. They moved in about 4 months ago...we always fed their horses and stuff, and I used to babysit the previous owner's kids in that place! Weird to see it all over the TV huh? Didn't my dad look cute though? He just got haircut :) Anyways, apparently Slick and Hailey and Deep and I are coming up this weekend! So we'll see you then!!! LOVE Y'ALL!

Crazy Goings-on near Dana's Place

2006-01-16T21:47:00.000-05:00

My Dad was telling me about this earlier, but I didnt realize until later where it took place:

The victim, 33-year-old Balkar Singh, was seen being forced into a car by four armed men. He suddenly returned home on Sunday night and three Peel cops converged on 14439 Bramalea Road in Caledon armed with a warrant.

But when they tried to serve the document, police say they were met with armed resistance from those inside and were forced to return fire.

The noise of the deadly exchange disturbed surprised neighbours in the normally quiet area.

“Something woke me up and I heard a bang. I thought it was a furnace,” recalls Boleslav Sykora. “But I guess … I know it is not a furnace. It was actually gunshots.”

New Year's follow-up

2006-01-16T12:25:00.000-05:00

Thought that everyone would want to know that Brian's boxers flew out of the tree the other day, where Geoff's dad saw them on the lawn and put them in the washing machine. So I know they have good memories, and you probably want them back :)
Are people planning to come up Friday or Saturday?

London

2006-01-15T23:17:00.000-05:00

Hey guys,
Just wanted to say hello, it has been a while since I have posted on this blog, though I have been posting on mine. P.S. that was a pat on my back, I'm so proud, and such a loser, lol. Anyway, just wanted to see what everyone was up to. Slick I heard you were thinking of going to London this weekend?? Snugs and I were talking about coming with you, if that would be cool with everyone. I don't know, whatever works for you guys, I would love to come to London though. Anyway, that's about all I had to say, I miss and love you guys!!!!!!!
Oh, and Brian, the posting you did about the bastard bong, you just left it as a draft, dude, post it.
That is all!!!

Rick's New Years Bash

2006-01-08T16:57:00.000-05:00

Hope all the London people are still coming out to Rick tomorrow night. So far, I think Megan, Diana and I are pre-drinking at my house, so if anyone else wants to pop over, your welcome. Otherwise see you at the wave at 9:30 or so (the usual time, you all know the drill).

There will be prizes, streamers, hats, noisemakers and a countdown to midnight (according to the email I got).

Quick note for Brian:

2006-01-08T16:55:00.000-05:00

Your post would only work on your computer, the pictures were blank to the rest of the world. I saved it as a draft so you can fix it later. Just upload the pictures instead of linking them to your computer, and then hit publish post again. Here's the instructions for posting pictures.

Old Picks

2006-01-08T02:04:00.000-05:00

I put up some old pictures of people on my blog, check them out they're quite amusing :)

Here's a sample shot:

awwww aren't they cute... :-)

new youear eve.

2006-01-01T04:27:00.000-05:00

STEVCE SAYA: I LOE GBOLG. STEVE QLSO LOVE LAMP> alkso brianan do you haeat a whoe. waeel of chese. i am in a glass case of emiotnion.

MEGAN SAYS: biran loves braithing matress.

DANS AYDS: I LOVE Pioecred mippesl when they're pyrperl and pooka dototed wth while steripes.

NATELIE SAYS: geofs' boos are hot.

BIRANA SAYS: I wam so crunk and ty0ping right now. sometimes i an't tyupe when i am dirnk so you can suck y giant black penis because i am so blakc rign thonow.

GOEFS SAYS: look at hte mothot picture of me. I LV EME FORM ME

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-25T17:57:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone is having a good Christmas break and enjoying time with their families (and/or drinking because of them :) ). So Happy Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/Festivus/Sunday everyone!

BTW, whats everyone up to this week? Is there sometime we can get together before New Years?

Probably the Last Joke Post

2005-12-14T02:42:00.000-05:00

Yeah...so when I said I was going to post jokes for the extension of the exam period...i meant my exam period. LOL Yeah, so my last exam is tomorrow...which means I might post some more but probably not. Good Luck to the rest of ya bitches on your exams and I see all you back in Brampton soon.

Joke # 1 - One of My Personal Favourites

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a small lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints.

After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey!"

The Monkey looks down and says "duuuuuuude!....... how much water did you drink?!!

Joke #2-Dedicated to all the hoes at Western

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?!" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.

Saugeen Stripper

2005-12-13T14:24:00.000-05:00

So news broke this week about a delightful little story out of Saugeen Maitland Hall at Western.

It seems that for their buddies birthday they wanted to get him a stripper, however as opposed to calling a strip club, they gathered up some money together and simply walked down the hall. Quite easily, they were able to find some girls that were interested in their proposition. Only in Saugeen could you find someone slutty enough to strip for a room of guys for 40 bucks.

Here's a preview:

Here's a link to the funniest of the selection of pictures:
http://photobucket.com/albums/c318/bloguser/?action=view&current=bb2d9dfa.jpg

And here's a link to the entire gallery of pictures for your enjoyment: http://photobucket.com/albums/c318/bloguser/

This stuff flew through the campus getting passed around from email, to email, and finally today an article appeared about it in the Toronto Star :-p
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1134427836448&call_pageid=968256289824&col=968342212737

Joke(s) of the Day

2005-12-13T12:47:00.000-05:00

Joke # 1

Larry and Bob wanted to go out drinking, but they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and spent the $2.00 on one large sausage. Bob said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!" Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels. Bob said, "Now you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!" Larry replied, with a smile," Don't worry - I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Larry said "OK! I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get on your knees and put it in your mouth." Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth bar, Bob said, "Larry - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!" Larry said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage at the third bar!"

Joke #2

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. "Can I help you?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!

New Jokes-Make Sure to Read Natalie's New Years Post Below

2005-12-12T13:50:00.000-05:00

Joke#1

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us!"

Joke #2

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".
The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"
The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"
Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

New Years

2005-12-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

Hi all,
Well we were thinking for anyone that is staying in Brampton we could have a party at Geoff's. We were figuring that would save us any long driving and high bar prices. Then we can do hot tubbing and stuff - it will be fun :)

Joke(s) of the Day

2005-12-11T20:19:00.000-05:00

Joke #1

Once Upon A Time, there was a married woman, and she was not happy about her sex life, so she goes to see her doctor about it. Her doctor gives her some pills and tells her to put one in her husband's glass of water before going to sleep and then HAVE FUN.
The woman comes back home and tries it the first night. She puts one pill in her husband's glass of water. And that night they have sex. The next night, the woman was happy but not quite content yet, decides to use two pills. That night their love making was even better then the night before. So the third night she decided that if two pills was great, then she would put all the pills in the glass of water.
A week later, the doctor calls her house and asks: "Hello, how's the whole family doing??" The son, who answered the phone, answers: "Well, my Mom's dead, my Sister's pregnant, My *** hurts and my Dad is running around naked outside screaming, 'Here KITTY KITTY'."

Joke # 2 --This one is for you Steve

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the world`s best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I`d like the best beer in the world, give me `The King Of Beers`, a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I`d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren`t you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren`t drinking beer, neither will I."

Good Enough for Me--So 2 for today:

2005-12-09T01:04:00.000-05:00

Joke #1
A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now... You didn't tell me you had a prescription".

Joke#2
man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse enters his room to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr. Jones, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The head nurse walks by and sees the man getting a little distraught, so she marches over to find out what's wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "are my testicles black?" The head nurse whips back the sheets, pulls down the man's pajamas, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas and says, "There's nothing wrong with them." Frustrated at this, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "I said, are my test results back?!"

New Joke: Are people actually reading these?? Should I stop??

2005-12-08T10:48:00.000-05:00

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money! I'M BROKE!!!"

And she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" He said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.

New Joke

2005-12-07T01:07:00.000-05:00

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two
hookers and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
When they get to the room, the first dwarf strips down
but no matter how hard he tries, he`s unable to get an
erection. His depression is enhanced by the fact that,
from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE,
TWO,THREE...UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How
did it go?" The first whispered back, "It was so
embarrassing. I just couldn`t get an erection." The
second dwarf shook his head. "You think that`s
embarrassing? I couldn`t even get on the bed!"

Joke of the Day

2005-12-05T00:26:00.000-05:00

A gay man went to heaven. Saint Peter was waiting for him at the Pearly Gates. After reviewing his records, Peter decided to let him in. “Follow me” he said, opening the gate and walking in. While walking Peter’s keys accidentally fall to the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick the keys. That was something the gay just couldn’t resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing. St. Peter was furious “If you do that again, you’ll go straight to hell! But, we’re almost there, so follow me” After some more walking, Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Peter is more furious than before, but decided to give the man one last chance. Again they start walking and for the third time, Peter drops his keys, so he bends over to pick them up. The gay guy, having no self control, jumps on him again. Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Peter goes down to hell for a routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, its freezing, There is no burning fire or lava, and in one corner he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his butts off. “Why is it so goddamn cold down here ?” Peter asks. “Well, u just try bending for firewood” the devil replied.

A Study Break and Drinks for Everybody!

2005-12-04T23:09:00.000-05:00

Seeing as this Wednesday is the last Rick McGhie night, and the plans for Sat. night didnt pan out, who's in for going to Rick on Wed. night?

A Study Break & Laugh for Everybody

2005-12-02T17:21:00.000-05:00

Check the Blog everyday (well almost everyday) during the exam period for a Study Break & Laugh

Joke #1:
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."

The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to put my damn money in this damn bank." "I see," says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

Joke#2:
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line... just one guy in front of me... He was an Asian [Chinese] guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated... he asked the teller "why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty?" The teller says, "fluctuations." The Asian guy says "fluc you white guys too!"

New Years

2005-11-23T19:02:00.000-05:00

What is everyone doing for new years?? I think I am staying in the B-dot unless anyone had plans to go to London.

2nd Annual Mayfield Ski Trip

2005-11-20T23:43:00.000-05:00

Word niggas,
Aight bitches this is the invitation to my gangsta nation, Mayfield Ski Trip. Who's interested, who's up for it?? It will be like 200 bucks a person, including lift tickets, rentals, gas, accomodation, food, bitties, hot tubs... see the pics from last year below. I'm thinking end of December, jsut before New Years, 27-31 something in that area. Ppl coming so far include: me, Puneet, Amit, Allie, Astrid, Susan...and YOU. don't be bitches about this. peace.
fuck you
Ankit xoxoxox

Bad Stevie bad!

2005-11-19T20:07:00.000-05:00

Hey guys,
This post is mostly to scold Stevie-boy!!! Steve, where are the pics from that wed. You definitely promised me that they would be up on your blog and then I would be able to get them from there, you are a disappointment! Of course I love you anyway, but give me my pics, lol!!! Can I tell you guys how I am wearing one plastic earing, what the hell is wrong with me, this is what happens when I don't want to do work!! At least I haven't cracked out the tiara yet, maybe tomorrow!!!

P.S.- Jeff are you reading this?? If you are know that you are an AV god and my hero!!!!

Thanks Everyone

2005-11-18T16:27:00.000-05:00

I everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to you all. My life has been shitty lately, and you've all been the best, I don't know how I could have gotten through it all alone. I love you all. This applies to both mayfield and western people.

Hailey Kidnapped!

2005-11-15T23:31:00.000-05:00

Rick McGhie

2005-11-13T12:49:00.000-05:00

I have posted all of the pictures (that turned out ok) on My Space, but here are some for those of you too lazy to check it out! Awesome time, I'm glad I went and HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOVEMBERITES!

Update Re: Changes

2005-11-08T16:26:00.000-05:00

I've looked at the comments that everyone left, and made a couple changes.

- I put a blogger link on the sidebar for Briana (who has yet to discover Bookmarks :P )

- Ankit, I agree about the word verification, it sucks, but as long as this blog is on blogspot, its going to have to stay. Every blog hosted on blogspot is pretty much a target for spam comments. I was pretty happy before about just preventing anonymous posts, but that doesnt do the trick anymore, so I'm going to leave word verification on for now, but as soon as I can, its gone.

- The banner will change, whats there is just the old one, which i dont particularly like either. I'm just not entirely sure what to replace it with yet. I'll do some fiddling and go from there.

Any ideas are welcome. Hell, even copy and paste the template yourself, and make changes and then email me the changed template. Or, make the new banner yourself if you want. I just dont want to go back to the last desgin... it sucked...and started to get really ugly. I think the current one looks better, and works better (little touches like the back/forward links at the top of post pages, how it says "Add a Comment"/"1 comment/"2 comments" depending on how many there are) but its boring, and I would love some ways to liven it up.

Posting Slackage

2005-11-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

K, I would just like to point out that people are really slacking on the posts, and it makes me sad, and this goes for personal blogs too. I mean what the hell and no one is writing funny comments either, I am saddened by this and disappointed in all of you! Just thought that I would throw my disappointment out there, for all to bask in my saddness, I got nothing and I am clearly tired. And I probably have been drinking too much lately, lol, I'm a bad person! But I am sad, and it is your fault, all of you!!!!!! Moral of the story is:

POST MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2005-11-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

turn, and face the.... nevermind....

Anyway, I changed the template, mostly because the old one was getting ugly, and this is the new one. Its NOT DONE, but I wanted to put it up early so that the problems would show up and I could change it. For example, I notice that the "Posted By:" is missing, so you cant see who posted a message, so I'll have to change that, and the links at the bottom right still say edit me (they're place holders).

As for the "Group" section that you're all used to seeing, it now only lists those people with blogs, so if your not there, dont feel excluded, just start a blog worth linking to!

Lemme know what you think, and I'm looking for a place to use some pink, as was requested... but somewhere thats not the title bar ;)

EDIT: Thats better now I think! The old banner is back, because I'm too lazy to make a new one, but I may in the future. The Posted by thing is back, and the links on the side dont change colour after you click them (I figured that it looked better that way instead of them all looking clicked). Anything anyone else wants? lemme know!

TABLE

2005-11-01T11:52:00.000-05:00

The Association of Bal Lovers Everywhere

The joke was good a long time ago... and I kinda figured its run its course as an inside joke.

Mandeep: The clock is ticking ! :)

What does TABLE mean?

2005-10-30T14:43:00.000-05:00

Tune in Nov 1!

Hayley's b-day bash

2005-10-30T11:46:00.000-05:00

Thank you to everyone who came, I had a great time - more importantly, Hayley had an awesome time - and I hope you all did too! For you guys that couldn't come, I miss you and I hope to see you soon. . .ps - you missed a sick party!

Mr. Sulu Update

2005-10-28T12:39:00.000-04:00

So it looks like Mr. Sulu surprised the world with his admissions in this article:

Click here for important Sulu news article!

I guess when we were sucking on Sulu's long hard shaft, we didn't realize that he was liking it so much. :-p

U of Guelph this Friday

2005-10-26T14:00:00.000-04:00

I am coming home this weekend and we should all party at u of guelph this weekend friday to be precise

Lets make this happen

o [psted pm ,u b;pg

2005-10-23T00:49:00.000-04:00

i posted on mh blog! we went to the brass door and i almost parbed and then i bargfed at home :)
i twas fun, espcialli after i got tennebaums!

Any Requests?

2005-10-20T00:52:00.000-04:00

So I'm going to make a new template for the blog in the next week, pretty much as soon as my essay for Land Use Planning is done, so I'm looking for suggestions. What do you want to see? New colours? Naked Women? Easy to read buttons for the vision impaired? Lemme know

Also, all blogger blogs are can now be syndicated, so basically there is a sort of alternate format for everyones blog that can be turned on that makes it easily machine readable. What I am looking into is making the "Group" bit on the sidebar automatic, so it will only list the names of people who have recent posts, and then show the title of what they have posted in the lasy week, say. Dunno if this will work, but I think its a good solution to people not posting... if you dont update your blog, you just slip into anonymity ;).

If you want to see the template for what I am starting with, its here, but its not customized at all, and the colours etc I plan to change, but by starting with something it makes the job a LOT quicker. **BTW that link points to the "M-D Playground" which is a blog that usually has the same layout as this one, but I try shit on that one first just in case its screwed up**

Public Service Announcement

2005-10-17T21:59:00.000-04:00

I noticed that there are starting to be random comments (not so much on the new M-D posts, but there were on some old ones that I had to delete), and it annoys me. If you notice some stupid post that has nothing to do with anything, its because there are automated programs that make posts on blogs so that a specific page will go up in the Google rankings.

In order to combat this, I have adjusted the settings so that when you post a comment you will see an image with some distorted text that you need to read and type into a box at the bottom. This is supposed to be something that a computer could not read, and that way we can make sure that it is a real person commenting.

If you want to set this up on your own blog so you dont get stupid comments about nothing, go into the Blogger Dashboard, click on the Settings Tab, then comments, and change Word Verification to YES. Then save and republish your blog, and that will take care of it.

Injured Briana

2005-10-14T22:50:00.000-04:00

This picture doesn't do it justice, but I was so drunk, I fell over into the stucco wall at Jim Bob's and cut my elbow open - it was bleeding and gross! And then of course I was all drunk whiny even though it was just a minor flesh wound.

Our little dance party

2005-10-14T16:09:00.000-04:00

Speaking of other people looking trashed, this one from Slick's cottage is fantastic, look at AK's eyes, and I was singing my ass off. Though I think I was still sober at this time. Still counts though, as I look drunk and AK looks like he is going to pass out! Oh AK, come home more often, who else cuddles and gives me a microphone all at the same time??

OH SNAP

2005-10-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

The looks of the people sitting with me in the picture make this all the more better. You should have seen how many times I did "OH SNAP" that evening. . .

competition

2005-10-13T18:27:00.000-04:00

Alright Bri, it's on. Here is one, the pregnant belly, come on, and my face looks like I am hung over. And someone is rubbing the belly. Though the belly isn't as big as other days, I should have eaten more meat, lol! Anyway, let the competition continue, though I do believe that you might be more of an alcoholic than me, so perhaps you will win in the end! But I will put up a good fight, ps come to Guelph and get drunk with me!!!!!

Whoooooa Nelly. . .

2005-10-12T23:55:00.000-04:00

Since I'm bored, for those of you who haven't seen the drunken pita pit counter picture, check out my blog. And for all to enjoy, yet another DRUNK picture of me to rival Hailey's.
HIGH FIVE, BRIAN. HIGH FUCKING FIVE.

Commenty

2005-10-12T20:42:00.000-04:00

We need some commenty shit. Comments are good. I love comments. I enjoy when people comment on my blog too, but this one is the biggie.

COMMENTARY PEOPLE.

While I wait for my printer to make its way to my house so I can scan/photocopy etc, you peeps need to comment.

What is everyone doing for halloween/dressing up as? Matt and I are going to Molly Bloom's. His costume is a surprise but will apparently be "hilarious".