A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy T-shirt with holes in it and wearing worn out flip-flops exposing her cracked heels and filthy toenails.When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"The woman stops screaming long enough to say,"Hell no they ain't!The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the Hell would you think they're twins?Do you really think they look alike?""No," replies the greeter, "But I just find it hard to believe that someone had sex with you twice."

Taking my inspiration from Dilbag, I'm going to post up something to hopefully give everyone a chuckle during exams. I don't have a great source of consistently funny jokes like Dilly seems to, so I've chosen animated GIFs instead. I have a bunch, and here's the first:

What is everyone doing this summer and after? A lot of people are graduating this May, so I was wondering what comes next for everyone. Job? College? Grad School? Travelling? Moving? Living in a Box?

I'll be in London working away at the master's, living at cherryhill and getting leered at by the dirty old (i mean really really old) men at the pool.

Hey Guys,

How's everybody doing???? So I just noticed that Brian got facebook over the weekend. So does that mean that Hailey is the only person that does not have facebook now???? COME ON HAILEY...CAVE TO THE TEMPTATION. :P

Also, just generally wanted to see what is new and what you guys have been up. Nothing new over here...just dreading the finish of finish of school and entering "real life." Talk to you guys later.

Ok...so maybe I missed something somewhere along the lines, but this is a blog for everybody! A while back we were talking of going up to London to visit (by we I mean Hailey, Deep and I, plus possible significant others). Is this still going on? Because I'm leaving for Mexico in about an hour (yes, some last minute blogging whoohoo!) and I'm coming back on Friday...so I kinda want to know what to expect when I return...:P anyways, who reads these things anymore anyways? Betcha Dil and Noah are the only ones who (may) read this message...which isn't a bad thing persay, because I love you both! anyways, to whoever may read this...FILL ME IN!!! :D

Hey Guys,

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays :D

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be completely MIA this holiday season. There is just a lot of family stuff going on and I know that I'm going (I actually already am) to be incredibly busy and I most probably won't get a chance to see you guys. I'm Sorry!! I'll try my best to make it up to most of you by coming to visit you guys in London once before the years end. Cool! AND I know what you guys are going to say about New Years "Come onnnnnnn Dilly...it's just one night, etc, etc." LOL :P Yes...I've heard it all. It's not going to happen. LOL

Luv you all...Miss you all...hopefully I'll see you soon.

Dilbag

HEY GUYS,

HOW IS EVERYBODY HANGING IN THERE??? EVERYBODY ALMOST DONE??? I FINISH TOMORROW??? ANYWAYS...POST SOME REPLY'S SO I STILL KNOW YOU ARE ALIVE


LITTLE JOHNNY JOKES

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
------------------------------------------------------
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ...just #$&#*&^# beautiful!
------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not!" answered his mother. "If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
------------------------------------------------------
The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" Suzy cried out. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher. "Six feet under!” yelled Little Johnny.
------------------------------------------------------
Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip. "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny said, "Actually, we went to Ohio." -------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"